Michaela Turns 5!

November 6, 2012 Michaela Ann Kessel turned the big 5.  She is growing into such a little lady.  This last year we have seen a little less sass and a little more lady.  Michaela has turned into quite the little social butterfly.  She makes friends wherever she goes, with her infectious smile and creative imagination, it's not hard to like her. She is going to preschool and enjoys that.  Her favorite things lately are to dress up and dance and sing, draw, write little notes and color.

For her birthday party she wanted a Barbie Princess and the Popstar.  (It's a movie.  Even the boys like it!)  She invited the girls from her preschool class and a few from our old neighborhood along with all her cousins.  We started off making bead necklaces then watched the movie, opened gifts and played games.    We had such a great time and appreciate what wonderful friends and family we have in our lives.

Opening presents on her birthday--thank you everyone for all the gifts!

The party stuff 

Making necklaces

Making her necklace

Blowing out her candles

Michaela in her popstar outfit and new necklace she made

I'm 5!

She loves to dress up in some of the silliest outfits.

Normal?

One thing we discovered this last year is that Jake talks a lot in his sleep and does some mild sleep walking.  I talked with the pediatrician and he told me not to worry about, it was perfectly normal.

Um, okay.  What about this:

It's 10 PM at night, and I'm just browsing Facebook.  Jake comes in with his PJ top on, but nothing else.  "Jake, you okay?"  He blinks at me and mumbles something about his leg.  We walk upstairs, I give him Tylenol, and ask him, "Jake, where are your pants and underwear?"  He blinks at me again and mumbles something incomprehensible and just stands there.  I walk him up to bed, and he crawls in and pulls the covers over him.  "Um...Jake," I whisper, "You need to get some pants on."  He gets up, flips on the light even though his older brother is dead asleep (thankfully) on the top bunk.  I quickly flip it off.  He just stands there looking at me and gets back into bed.  I fumble around in the dark and find some underwear in his drawer, put them on and cover him while I try to stifle my laughter.

Judging

We've sold and moved out of our cute little house on Floribunda Drive.  Yesterday was the big moving day. In all the hustle and bustle it is easy to forget about others and their needs.  But thankfully, today, I was blessed with the opportunity to be reminded that others have such heavy silent burdens and that I need to reach out in kindness, in love and with acceptance.

When we found out that we were going to need to move out of our house sooner than expected, we looked at five or so rental places.  One place, just felt right.  One other place, logically made a little more sense, it was closer to the kids school, and had the same price tag, similar features and layout, but the first one just felt right.  I tried to convince myself that the one closer to the kids' school was the right choice.  But I wasn't successful.  Something was off, and I didn't know why.  Mike and I both felt good about the one a little further away.  We signed a lease, put down our deposit and began our flurried preparations for the move.

Each day this past week, I prayed each morning to know who I could help.  I felt a little funny asking for that because I knew we probably were the ones that needed help getting moved.  I had made a promise to pray for this, though.  Most days, I tried to be aware of others needs.  Especially the kids.  Yesterday was hectic, naturally, and I am sure there really weren't too many people's needs I concerned myself with.

As we moved in the rental, the kids played out front.  Soon, they made friends with four other siblings.  Three boys and a little girl.  Today, these siblings reappeared and came into our house, and stayed.  They were all polite, but a little bold.  I was a little taken back by them.  The oldest boy kept asking me all sorts of questions about different gadgets I had laying around as I unpacked boxes.  At times, I found myself judging him a little and getting a tiny bit impatient because I just wanted to be about my business.

When it came time for us to eat dinner, I politely told them we were going to eat and then get everyone ready for bed, but they were welcome to come another time.  The youngest girl, did not want to leave.  She began making excuses.  I listened and said, "I know it's hard to leave when you are having a good time, but we need to eat and get to bed because the boys have to get up super early to go to school."

"Well, I don't want to go home because my dad's sleepin' and I am not supposed to wake him up."  I thought maybe the dad had kicked them all outside and told them to leave him alone or some other judgemental thought like that.

I got a little firmer and encouraged her to pick up the toys and come back another day.  She stomped her foot and said, "No, I don't want to leave! I TOLD YOU MY DAD'S SLEEPIN'!"

I replied, "Well, maybe I should walk over and talk with your mom since your dad's not awake."

She yelled back, "My mom's dead!"

She's only about four, so I thought she was fibbing so that she could stay.  Her six year old sweet brother piped in, "Yea, my mom died and went to paradise."

I sucked in my breath.  Caleb frankly said, "How did she die?'

"She wasn't wearing a seat belt and she hit some ice. The other car landed on top of her and killed her."

He put his arm around his little sister and soothingly said, "Come on, we need to go.  I know you want to play, but it's time to go home now."

Caleb informed me that they had just moved here from Colorado a few days ago.

I was humbled by all this information.  Here I was judging and being a little impatient with all four kids.  When really all they need is love.  Isn't it interesting how different people seem in  your eyes when you come to know them a little better?

I pray that when I ask to know who I can help today, that my mind's filter will be removed and I can truly 'see' other's souls around me so that I may come to truly love them as the Master loves each of us.

Reading

Today I have been in a foul mood.  I get like this sometimes and I don't even know why.  Please tell me other people get this way, too!  My husband never seems to.  Which is wonderful and makes me very glad I married him, but it also makes me feel very guilty that I get this way.  I slept well last night, don't have much to be worried about.  Our family life is great.  Things are going rather smoothly, actually.  "What in the dickens is the matter with me?" I ask myself at times like this.  But for some reason, I am just "off."  I snapped at the kids and growled about unimportant things like the fact that the kids have left toothpaste all over the bathroom sink, yet again!

Okay, so now that you think I am the worst mother in the world, let me tell you why I am writing this post.  Given my mental state, I was tempted to just get the kids into bed, give them each a quick kiss goodnight and veg out in front of the TV watching shallow shows that don't even really make me feel better.  But I knew from experience that if I skipped our routine, the kids would take longer going to sleep and I get more and more frustrated and we would end the day on one long sour note.  You will see how the children ended up making my day as they have so many times in the past.

Instead of giving in to this very strong temptation I've skipping the bedtime routine, I decided to read to each of them in their rooms, sing them a song and tuck them in.  I started with Emily.  She began screaming at me because she knew that once I started reading, it wasn't long after that she would be in her room alone and wouldn't be able to pillage the house again until morning.  I wanted so desperately to just plop her in her bed, blow her a kiss and say a terse, "Good night."  But I kept at it.  My voice wasn't particularly soothing as I read "Are You My Mother" twice in a row.  As I began singing, she really started squirming trying to get free.  She kept saying, "NO! NO!"  I firmly said, "Do you want to be put in your bed then?"  She shook her head and settled in to my chest.  I finished singing, "Abide With Me 'Tis Eventide," the song I have sung all the kids as babies whenI put them to bed.  Still I felt off.  I placed her in bed and she immediately jumped up hanging on to her crib railing, "Mommy!!!!"  I closed the door, sighed and walked on to Michaela's room.  I snuggled with her and read a story about Ariel and Flounder from the Little Mermaid.  When I asked her what song she would like she said, "Bye To Me."

"Uh? I don't know that song."

"You know, Mommy, the one you always sing Enily."  (She always replaces the 'm' in "Emily.)

"Oh, 'Abide With Me'?"

"Yes!  That's the one!"

I sang to her and as I bent to hug her goodnight, she wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "I'm sorry for everything I did bad today, Mommy."  Ah...these are the times when I just want to crawl under a rock where I belong.  I was the one that needed to be apologizing.

I walked to the boys' room and was bracing myself for squeals of laughter and objects flying around the room, which happens so often.  But they were both sitting on their beds talking. I asked, "Do you guys want me to read another chapter from 'The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe'?"

"Yes! Yes! Please!"

We started it a few nights ago, but I wasn't sure if they were really getting into it or not.  It was a book I had loved as a child, and hoped to share it with them.  Pleased, that they seemed to be enjoying it, I cuddled up with them on the floor and read one chapter.  As I closed the book, Caleb pleaded, "Can't we just read one more, please???"  It was a short chapter so I agreed.  When finished, both boys were asking, "Does Edmund really bring Lucy, Susan and Peter to the White Witch?  Does he, Mom? "  I smiled and said, "You will just have to wait and see."  They sighed and crawled into bed.

Next, I scratched their backs and sang "Silent Night."  When I kissed them good night, I realized I felt happy, joyful and not "off" anymore.  I should have taken a moment earlier in the day to just pause, and do something with the children, maybe I would have started having a better sooner than when it's about over.  Children have some type of magic that helps you forget all the silly troubles that seem so important yet are not.  They live in the moment.  I pray that I can do that more often.

Sleeping

What is it about watching my children sleep that makes it seem like I've done something right?  Sometimes I sneak in their rooms as they sleep just so I can get the rejuvenation I need.  On the days Mike works his 24 hour fire shifts, life can get pretty crazy.  Especially around dinner and bedtime.  I've been trying to make it less so, or at least that is my goal.  Some nights I do alright by myself and some nights I don't.  Some nights we are laughing and enjoying each other, and some nights I want to quickly put them all in their beds, shut the door, turn out the lights and breathe.  On those nights, I need to sneak in their rooms and watch and notice.  Notice that Jake sleeps pretty much in the same spot he fell asleep.  Notice that Caleb is all over the bed.  His covers every which way.  Notice that Em sticks her bum in the air with her face smooshed up against the mattress with her mouth open and drooling.  Notice that Michaela likes to sleep in tight ball.  Her baby blankie as her only cover.  Notice their innocence.  And remember.  Remember that they are our gift. Remember that they are the best thing we have ever done.  Remember that I need to be a little better for them.  Remember how much richness they bring to my life.  Remember that they are the reason I stay up late cutting up little cheese triangles to put on top of our 4th of July Hot Dog Skewered Rockets.  Remember how deeply I love them!

Keeps us laughing

 As I was cleaning up dinner, Michaela says, "Mom will you come to my wedding?" Me, "Of course!" M, "Why?" Me, "Because I'm your mother!"  A few minutes pass.  "Mom, do you want me to die?"  Me, "OF COURSE NOT!"  M, "Oh, so you want me to stay a kid forever?  Is it because I'm a widdle stinker?"  Yep, that's it.  She has read my mind!  And then, the boys were being super quiet downstairs, which means something is goin' on.  They came up the stairs looking like this:

 Notice that Em Em is holding a BBQ sauce bottle...she stole that out of the fridge and it became her baby doll.  Maybe I should take it away from her, but she will scream.  Don't have the energy for that right now.

 One of the things Jake liked most about wearing a dress?  Twirling. He does a great job.  Pretty coordinated for never doing it before.

"Mom, ya know why we dressed up like this?"  Caleb queried. Me, "I have NO idea."  C, "'Cause Michaela only lets girls into her room. Now we can play in it."  Oh,  makes perfect sense!

Kids, always keep us laughing and screaming and going insane and growing and changing and loving.

Getting Even

Police officer: Ma'am, can you provide us details of what happened last night?

Kathryn: Well, I...uhm....oh, boy...you'll have to excuse me, it is so fresh in my mind, sir...

[Clears her throat] I remember I had just put my pajamas on to go to bed when I heard him come up the stairs.

Officer: Go on.

Kathryn: Uh...then I heard a noise at the kitchen sink. It sounded like water running.

Officer: What time did you say it was?

Kathryn: I didn't. I think it was about 10:30 P.M.

Officer: [As he jots down something in his notebook] Go on.

Kathryn: I heard footsteps coming down the hall so I hid myself by the door of our bedroom like this. [She makes herself flat up against the door]

Officer: Then what happened [continues to write]?

Kathryn: I saw this dark shadow in the doorframe...and then I jumped out screaming, "Gotcha!"

Officer: So you hid to scare him, ma'am?

Kathryn: Well, yes, officer. You don't know what it's like trying to live with a man like that. He's constantly right, teases me whenever no one is around...I had to do something!

Officer: Okay, so then what happened?

Kathryn: Next thing I know I am drenched with some liquid substance. You see, I saw him jump and then there was a delay. I felt a cool sensation all over my front. He purposefully threw the water on me!

Officer: Okay. Could you provide a detailed description of the suspect, ma'am?

Kathryn: Yes, yes of course. He was about 6 feet. Dark hair. These gorgeous brown eyes, with broad jetty dark eyebrows with a decisive nose. Large muscular shoulders...Uh...uhm....Yes, well anyway, that should help you find him.

Officer: Well, ma'am, that should help us out. Thank you for your time. We will keep you updated on what we find out. In the meantime, I suggest you refrain from trying alarm anyone who comes into your room.

Victim with the suspect.

Crime weapon

Crime Scene