Remember

I've been feeling a little down lately.  Maybe not just a little.  It's been difficult to stay motivated to do those things I know I should be doing.  Today reminded me that I need to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep serving.  There's this "voice" that says to me over and over again, "You have nothing left to give.  You are burned out.  You just need to lay down and watch a movie."  I didn't feel like going to church today.  But I pulled myself out of bed, got the kids ready.  One of them particularly didn't want to go, "I'm not going!"  Me, "Okay.  We are leaving in 10 minutes."  A stomped foot and then, "Well, I'm not going to get my church clothes on!"  Me, "Okay.  Well...I need to finish getting ready."  I got ready, and eventually, this child was dressed.  Her hair wasn't done, but she had a dress on.  We got there on time.  During sacrament meeting, the kids were fairly good.  One of the things I love about sacrament is that the kids love for me to touch them.  They love for me to scratch their back, or put my arms around them, or sit in my lap.  

During the second hour, I received a text from Mike to call him.  He never texts me during church while he is working.  So, I rushed outside, called and found out he was in the hospital.  He had some chest pressure while he was working out.  In order to check it out, he had his crew bring him in.  I pulled Caleb out of class, he agreed to walk all the kids home when church was over and call me at the hospital.  I called my mom.  She agreed to come help the kids when she got home as well.  

Blood work was performed on Mike to test his heart enzymes.  And we waited.  While we waited, I received an email from someone who was suffering and lashed out at me.  My first impulse was to be angry, but then, I calmed down and realized this person was really hurting and needed me to reach out to them.  I sent out a few texts to some people who could assist.  It helped me stay distracted.  

The nurse came to draw more blood and asked me, "Do you work or do you just stay at home?"  It took me by surprise, and made me feel a little insignificant, but I said, "I stay at home."  Mike quickly cut in and said, "She used to be a science teacher.  She taught junior high, then worked for BYU and Western Governors University."  My man!  Sure love him and how he sticks up for me and supports me.

Eventually, after six hours, Mike was released and was asked to follow up with his cardiologist.  

When I reached home, the kids swarmed around me, kissing and hugging me, "I missed you, Mommy!!!"  Chewy stood right by my side, nuzzling and licking my hand.  My mom hugged me and left.  As I went around the house to turn off lights, and watched the kids sleep, I realized how blessed I am.   I almost found a reason not to get out of bed this morning.  However, I got to hold my Emily in my lap during sacrament meeting and cover her with kisses.  I got to scratch Caleb's back, play a quiet game with Michaela and put my arms around Jake during Sacrament.  I also got to support my husband in time of need.  I have a mom who is willing to drop everything and come to my aid, over and over and over again!  I have a husband who cheers for me and stands up for me even when he is in a hospital bed with an IV in his arm.

Therefore, I need to keep getting up each day.  There are too many lives I can help and impact.  I'm thankful for this day and all that it helped me remember all that I have been given.  I felt Heavenly Father's love wrap around me and remind me that life is good.  People are good.