Thankful

When I look at this engagement photo, I have so so many thoughts such as, "Wow, we look so young!"  Or, "Hey, Mike had a little bit more hair back then!"  But usually, my thought/feeling is, "I am SO lucky he chose me.  I look peacefully happy."

This past week, Mike and I have had an opportunity to go through an experience as parents with one of our children that was a little new to us.  We have talked at length about the best way to handle it.  Tonight we were able to do a little more analyzing and come up with our map of what we were going to do from this day forward.  Through this parenting experience we have grown closer, more united, more one.  And I just feel incredibly grateful to be linked with this man and I feel the need to write about it.  It's good to document these emotions and read about them and remember the feelings and experiences.

So that is what I am doing.  Documenting, so that when I want to strangle him over something stupid, I can pull up our blog and read this post!  No, not really, well I am sorta serious!  

At the end of our marathon discussion tonight, I said to Mike, "You really had no idea what you were marrying when you asked me.  You know that?"  And he smiled and said, "As if that talk we had on the beach didn't clue me in?"  I giggled, remembering how he had brought me to California for the first time to meet his family and had taken me to the beach for a bonfire.  We sat snuggled up close looking at the flickering flames and listening to the waves crash and I blurted out, "I am never going to work outside the home when I have children.  Let's just get that one thing clear right now.  So, if you're looking for a gal that wants to work outside the home, it's not gonna be me."  We hadn't mentioned the "M" word to each other  yet.  I had just met his parents for the first time that day.  If there was a time for him to be scared and decide, "This lady is LOONY, I think I had better get out now," it was then.  Heavens, we were just having a nice romantic date on the beach and out of nowhere I blurted out this craziness to him.  He had no idea where it came from.  After fourteen years of marriage, he isn't that surprised anymore by these outbursts of mine.

And so tonight, when he was teasing me about the beach outburst, I cried out, "What possessed you to marry me?  Why didn't you run when I said those kinds of things to you?"  He just smiled and said, "Because I loved you and now I love you even more."

When we have moments like tonight, I usually think, "Can this be real?  Am I really as fortunate as this that I married someone so darn good?  That loves everything about me?  Can it be that I actually have a marriage I only read about and dreamed about?"  Now, I fear when I say all of this that I paint an incorrect picture of our day to day.  Take two nights ago: our phone conversation ended extremely curt and cold.  We have our not so good moments and quite a few of them.  We get mad at each other, but are so very committed to one another and grow united more every day, every year.  I think that's what makes our marriage so unbelievable.  I didn't know a marriage could be like this.  I didn't know that I could be linked with someone that is insanely different and mold together with me over time.

Moments like tonight drive me to write because I am a person that when something sweet or wonderul happens I have to tell someone to complete the experience.  Do you ever feel that way?  That might explain my crazy outbursts like at the beach.  Obviously, I am a verbal person.  I married someone who was not, but has become much more adept at conversing than he was fifteen years ago--out of survival.  

I made it 15 days!

I was sick fifteen days ago and woke up this morning with my eighth cold since December.  Nuts.  But rather than focus on this fact, I am going to write about what has happened since my last sickness, 'cause lots of good has occurred.  Here we go:

My mom agreed to come watch the kids while I took Mike on a surprise birthday getaway to Heber.  (Thanks, Mom!)  We soaked and snorkeled in the Homestead Crater--it's a natural hotspring surrounded by a rock dome.  The water feels like silk.  It was lovely.  We snorkeled a little, but mostly floated and relaxed.  Then we ate and spent the night.  

I get to spend all day with this cutie.  She is usually such a happy little girl.  One that keeps me entertained with her little preschooler chatter and her pretend play.  Her pregnancy about broke me, but she was worth it:

On a walk with Chewy up the mountain:

She pulls Oreos apart and eats the filling first:

She keeps me company on my errands and is usually pretty tolerant of walking all over Hobby Lobby.  Often she plays hopscotch with the floor tiles or brings little figurines that like to hide in the merchandise.  

On to my next blessing!  Last weekend we went to a Lego Americana Roadshow.  Many of our nation's most recognizable landmarks were constructed out of Legos and were put on display at a shopping mall.  It was really cool!  Sometimes I think Legos are really neat.  Not when they are all over the children's bedroom floors for days at a time, but what one can construct out of these little pieces of plastic is amazing.

Mike and some of his Airmed coworkers have created an indoor soccer team.  We got to watch one of their games last week:

Mike gets past his opponent:

He looms large as keeper (he's in the red jersey):

We had this amazing sunrise a few days ago:

This is a little sad, but still a blessing because I saw how tough and brave our little Squirt is. 

Emily fell out of bed one night and sliced her chin--we think on her bedrail.  We decided to get it stitched up to keep scarring to a minimum.  She was her chatty little precocious self throughout her Instacare visit--talking to the nurse and doctor, telling them she was little bit scared, but that's okay 'cause she was going to get fixed up, and did you know her brother threw up at school and she has a dog named Chewie? The nurse put some numbing goop (can't remember the name of it) on some gauze and then held it in place with this cute Santa Claus beard.  

Even with the numbing goop, the numbing shot still stung quite a bit, but Emily held super still even with tears streaming down her face.  I was so proud of her!  The nurse said maybe 15% of kids that came in for stitches were as good as she was.  We have a sterling scholar of stitches, folks!

The kids had their yearly La Fiesta program yesterday. They dance to Spanish music and it is incredibly fun to watch.  Michaela's class danced to Noches de Verano (Summer Nights) from Grease.  She was so so adorable dancing with her little first grade boy partner trying to do the swing.  

Caleb danced to a song that he doesn't know the name of, but it was cute, too.  He was overjoyed to be able to be in the same group as one of his best friends, Boyd.  

I should mention, Jake was sick.  Poor guy.  He threw up at school and was still sick the day of La Fiesta and wasn't able to perform.

But let me include these photos I took of Jake's patriotic program at school. they were taken more than fifteen days ago, but he is also one of our four greatest blessings.  His Spanish class sang "America" in Spanish.  It made me tear up.  They sang powerfully and strong.

And that's it.  Sure love our family--I'm glad that I get to be with them and create memories like these ones.  

Blessings

I am sick for like the fifth or sixth time in two months.  Ugh.  But this dog.  THIS DOG.  He is usually not allowed on our bed.  He knows that.  I know he knows that because he doesn't ever try to jump on our bed.  But when I have been sick, he comes to the side of the bed and dances around trying to decide something and then in one graceful leap he lands next to me and places his head on me.  This sweet gesture sometimes brings me to tears.  I had given him to another family once.  I thought I would never get to see him again.  I sobbed for months afterward--I couldn't bring myself to get another dog when my pelvis healed enough to allow me to go on walks again.  And yet, I have him back.  How does that happen?  Why am I so fortunate?  I don't have answers to those questions.  But when I am lying in bed, frustrated that my body is fighting to stay well, he lands next to me.  Always there.  His warmth is so terribly comforting.  I. LOVE. HIM.  I am humbled by him.  HE. IS. THE. BEST.

Valentine's Day 2015

Michaela said this morning, "Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday!" Me, "Why's that?" Her response, "'Cause it's the day everyone tells each other how much they love each other."  I agree.  I loved thinking of fun things to do for the kids and for Mike to celebrate this day.  I felt such warmth and happiness as I sat down to write out what I loved about each of them.  

This is how we celebrated our love for each other:  Our celebrations began Friday the 13th since Mike had to work most of Valentine's Day.  Friday morning,  Mike left out an empty vase for me in the kitchen with a sweet note that, in summary, said, "I've hidden things throughout the house that tell you why I love you."  I found 12 roses in every part of the house, each with a note that began with, "I love...."  

Mike and I made a lunch date since we had made plans for Mike to take the girls to the Pinkalicious Musical playing at the SCERA theater Friday night. Our lunch date took place at Texas Roadhouse with Squirt tagging along.  I LOVE their steak.  We had heart pizzas for dinner.  Mike took the girls to the musical and the boys decided to go swimming with me at the Lehi Legacy Center.  They probably spent 90% of the time going down the swirly slide.  I loved watching their smiling faces run up the stairs, swish down the slide and come up sputtering in the pool.  I joined them every other slide down.  (I find myself still getting a little winded because of the pneumonia I battled this winter.)

After the kids fell asleep, Mike and I cut out little hearts, wrote various things about what we loved about each child and stuck them to the corresponding child's door.  I think the kids were tickled to see them when they woke up.  For breakfast we had velvet pancakes with cream cheese frosting and chocolate covered strawberries.  

I love making holidays special.  I'm not sure why.  I just know that it makes me happy.  I'm ever so grateful for my five beautiful Valentines: a romantic husband and four sweet children.  

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Here are some evidentiary photographs of our special 2015 Valentine's Day as a family:

Can you see the heart shape on the piggy tail?  If so, then I succeeded!

Daddy's beautiful dates for the Pinkalicious Musical.  The girls loved going with their prince.

I think Chewy had had enough of all the lovey talk.  He slept next to me and Mike like this as we sat cross legged on the floor writing on our hearts for the kids' doors.

When you tease your 5th grader about the girl he likes, he smiles like this:

I found this idea on the Internet somewhere.  I left this for Mike this morning:

Chewy's Valentine.  Awww...(actually I had put a little dot of cream cheese frosting on Missy's cheek.):

Michaela and Emily left this note for Cupid.  And Michaela helped Emily make some special Valentine's for us:

Our yummy breakfast:

How to Save Your Marriage

http://www.richardpaulevans.com/saved-marriage/ 

Someone shared this link on Facebook today.

I LOVED it. My favorite part: . Real love is not to desire a person, but to truly desire their happiness–

Caleb asked me the other day, "When did you first tell Daddy, 'I love you?'" 

I told him, "We were baby-sitting one of my cousins together, and I sat him down, gently held his face and said, 'There is something I must tell you.  It can't wait another day because I am afraid I will blurt it out on the phone and this is something I have to tell you in person....I love you and it's fine if you don't feel the same, but I just have to have you know.'"  Caleb was smiling and said, "So, what did Daddy say?"  I started to giggle and said, "He said, 'Thank you.'" Caleb's eyes shot wide open, "What?!  Weren't you embarassed that you had just told him that? You mean, he didn't say it right back?"  I had to really think for a moment to make sure I remembered correctly.  After a long pause, I shook my head and said, "No, I don't believe he said it back to me right away.  But you see, Caleb, I didn't care.  That's the funny thing about love.  Real love.  You just want the other person to be happy and if he didn't love me like I loved him, it was okay."  

I loved this article, because I believe every last word of it.  Marriage is VERY hard, but he points out that most things in life worth having require great effort.  And when I feel slighted by my husband or frustrated by something I have PERCEIVED he has done that makes me angry, when I pause and ask myself, "What can I do to change this situation or what is my part in all this?"  that is when I feel the anger leave and the love return.  

Emily Turns Four!

Ah, our little squirt!  Emily Kathryn Kessel turned four years old on Tuesday, February 3, 2015.  She is growing up to be such a smart, funny little girl.  She is a daily joy and my little companion while the older three are at school.  Her older siblings love her bunches and take pretty good care of her.  On her birthday morning, they were up early and anxious to sing to her before they left for school.  Ten minutes before they had to leave, she came down the stairs and they burst into a "Happy Birthday" serenade as she smiled during her descent.  Per her request, we had crepes and strawberries with whip cream for breakfast. She chose Arctic Circle for lunch and hot dogs and mac n'cheese for dinner.  

As I was cleaning up breakfast Emily said, "Um, Mom, when are my friends coming over for my party?"  Uh oh.  We hadn't planned a party for her this year because I was planning on doing a huge party when she turned five.  We were just going to do the family thing this year.  "Well, Emily, we aren't having a friend party this year.  We are going to have your yummy cake tonight and open your presents and then we are going to Farm Country on Saturday.  Remember, that's what you picked as your activity to celebrate?"

Her face screwed up and she started breathing fast.  Through trembling lips, "You mean I don't get to invite Ava and Cash over to see me open my presents and blow out my candles????!!!"  I didn't realize that she didn't realize that she was not going to have friends over.

Luckily, after a quick text message exchange, I was able to arrange to have her little friends over to watch her open her gifts and blow out her candles.  She loved her new bike and helmet.  In fact, she spends a lot of time out on the RV pad cruising around on it.

For her birthday she wanted a chocolate heart cake.  A funny note about the cake: I decided to make the cake from scratch because Jake has been put on a dairy free diet per doctor orders.  I am not sure exactly why the cake stuck to the pan when I tried to take it out, maybe it was that I used coconut milk instead of regular milk?  I was able to salvage it, mostly, and thankfully, the cake was really really good.  Of course Em didn't notice how sloppy the cake looked and gobbled it up.  I stressed, isn't that always the case?  I had tried so hard on the darn cake and it just wasn't cooperating.

Here are two pictures from her actual birthday:

I just want to hug her to bits!  Love the smile.

And today, with a record 63 degrees!, we went to Farm Country.  The kids were all smiles as they petted and fed all the animals, rode in a wagon and had pony rides. 

Emily properly thanked her pony at the end.

Jake was pretty confident (not surprisingly) riding the horse.  At times he would lift his hands, "Look, Mom, no hands!"  I didn't mention to him his horse wasn't going anywhere tied to the pole on the horse walker, but hey, what harm is there in letting him believe what a talented horseman he is?

This was Caleb's favorite horse.  We found out his name was, "Cosmo."

As always, her big strong daddy lifting her up to pet the animals and to keep her safe.  Love this man!

Love our beautiful girly girl!

Sure love our little brood.

Happy Birthday, Emily!  We are so glad you came to join our family four years ago!

Fall Break 2014

 The kids have been out of school since Thursday.  Lovely Fall Break, we have had.  Thursday we took them to see the movie "Malificent."  Most of them liked it, but Jake was scared--which I was worried about.  I appreciated the moral of the story about learning to forgive and choose to love.  We ate way too much popcorn and then ate too much at Chuck-A-Rama after.  Missy started feeling ill while we were at the restaurant, don't know if it was from eating too much popcorn or if she got a little stomach bug.  

That night, Caleb and then Jake woke up complaining of nausea.  I had the boys sleep on the basement couch and I threw some cushions on the floor and slept next to them so that Mike could get a good night's sleep in our bedroom. He had a Trauma class to attend the next day and then had to head to the Tooele AirMed helicopter pad for the night.  The boys, consequently, were not feeling well all Friday--they played on their Kindle's and the girls and I hung out.  We played dolls in bed in the morning. I hauled the girls in the bike trailer along our city's bike trail for my workout before lunch.  They loved how fast they were going and we sang lots of songs along the way.  Later, I decided to put the girls in the van and meet Mike in Tooele to eat dinner with him.  We chose Cafe Rio, yum!  Can never go wrong with the Rio!  Then we hurried home and got everyone to bed.  Everyone felt much better the next day, fortunately, because we had Jones cousin family time.

Logan and Noah, Nate and Nikki's kids, were baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  It was a treat to see their sweet smiling faces after.  One of the LDS missionaries attending the service, asked Logan and Noah to express how they were feeling.  Tears spilled as Noah said, "I just feel really happy," and he choked up.  He doesn't get emotional very often and I could tell what being baptized meant to him.  Logan was next and she looked so grown up in this cute dress and cardigan and was just smiling from ear to ear as she said shrugging her shoulders, "I'm just so glad I finally got to be baptized!"  We sure love our cousins!  

We headed over to Nate and Nikki's afterward for dinner, games and S'mores.  Nate built a fire so we could have the scrumptious, gooey, S'mores.  They bought me some Rolos!  If you have never made a S'more with Rolos, you are certainly missing out.  Oh my goodness, it is D-I-V-I-N-E!  I know there will be Rolo S'mores in heaven.  I know it.

After S'mores, the kids played night games like "Ghost in the Graveyard."  The adults basked in their giggles and screams as they ran around getting scared and just enjoyed being together.  Truly, this is what family is about--just getting together and enjoying each other's company.

Mom agreed to watch Phil and Lisa's kids that night so they could have a much needed date night--they left after dinner.  I helped her get the three little ones ready for bed.  Man, just the twenty minutes of wrangling them into their jammies and brushing their teeth left me exhausted!  Lisa, I don't know how you do it day in and day out!  I have such a newfound respect for you!  

Mom, headed out to get Phil's kids to bed, and the rest of us finally wound down.  Naturally, the kids were all worn out and fell asleep on the way home.  

Today, Monday, Mike was back at the fire station, so I headed solo with the kids to Mrs. Cavanaugh's chocolate factory for a quick tour.  It was a nice diversion--mostly because of the delicious chocolate we got to sample.  At the end we bought some chocolates and ate some of their ice cream.  Why do I never learn and get Emily a bowl instead of a cone?  She is never able to eat the ice cream fast enough and it drips all over her. By the time I remember to get her a bowl she will be big enough to eat a cone without making a mess.

 Here are some cute pictures from today:

I'm a little sad to have our break come to a close.  But, Halloween is comin' up.  Gotta get all the kids costumes ready and then Grandpa and Grandma Kessel and Great Aunt Sherrill will be here, so we have that to look forward to!